My baby is TWO! Her birthday was on Tuesday, but I am just getting around to posting now because I have been crazy busy. I ended up at a birth all day on Tuesday, that was kind of cool and kind of sad at the same time.

Anyhoo, I thought I would post her birth story here to commemorate. Most of you have probably already read this, actually...


The more I live the more I learn that life has a really profound way of teaching us about life. The experiences we are given help to shape who we are, what we believe and how we view things. Each experience is unique and important to our growth, but I feel that there are some that are more growth-full...birth is one of these.

My birthing journey began long before Faeryn was born. My pregnancy started out and progressed like most pregnancies do; some nausea and grossness at the beginning, of course, but otherwise I felt incredible... full of life in all senses of the phrase. My daughter Nova was born at Foothills Hospital, and it was a positive and extremely empowering experience for me. This time, though, I wanted to do it at home, in water, with midwives. We couldn't afford it with Nova, and we really technically couldn't afford it now, but I was hell bent on doing it, no matter what kind of personal sacrifices that meant. The cost ended up not being an issue at all...two months after I found out I was pregnant, my best friend asked me to start babysitting her son because her dayhome provider had not worked out. The money that I made babysitting her son was what paid for our midwives. Interesting how things just work themselves out so much of the time, isn't it? We chose Patty and Jane from Birth Partnership and started to plan for our home waterbirth.
Then 32 weeks rolled around and things changed. I had been mentioning to Patty at my appointment that I thought the baby must have his or her hands near its head because I had been getting some strange (and painful!) jabs in the cervix that radiated down my leg. She palpated my belly and told me that the baby was breech. Somewhere in my head I had already wondered about that but I had dismissed it thinking "Don't be silly! There's no way this baby is breech! Everything is going the way it's supposed to, remember??" . Ok, so the baby is breech, I thought and told people, no biggie! There was still plenty of time for the baby to turn. Nevertheless, I started paying more attention to my posture and how I positioned my body and made changes where necessary to make my belly an environment more conducive to a baby flipping. In addition, I started seeing my chiropractor for Webster's technique on a regular basis . Weeks passed and the baby stayed breech. I started taking a more proactive approach to having the baby flip around...I took homeopathics, did moxibustion, warmed the bottom of my belly, roamed on hands and knees, did the flashlight trick/voice/music trick, had acupuncture, laid upside down on an ironing board. I visualized, and rubbed my belly in circles and just asked this little person to please please turn around. Nothing was successful in flipping the baby. By my 36 week appointment I was feeling anxious but still hopeful. We had our home visit with Jane, and while I was excited...I also felt slightly pessimistic about it all. One of my only fears in labour and childbirth was a cesarean section and it was looking more and more certain that it was going to become a reality. Conversly, one of my biggest desires for birth was a home water birth, and that desire was in serious jeopardy. We talked about my options, what more we could do, discussed the "what ifs". My partner Jesse and I decided we would go ahead and book an appointment for an external version (a procedure where a doctor manually tries to flip the baby from the outside). I was nervous about it, and, quite honestly, terrified of what 'could' happen; there is some risk involved with versions because the baby can go into distress, or the placenta can detach, and then an emergency cesarean is required. But, I was also feeling desperate and willing to try almost anything to save my waterbirth, and more importantly, my vaginal birth. Jane reminded me to stay positive, keep trying, keep asking, to continue to keep the faith.
My version was scheduled for the next week, and I rode a tumultuous rollercoaster of emotions. I grieved the potential loss of my homebirth, worried and what-if'd myself to death. The version day came and went without success...the doctor almost had the baby turned completely around and at the last minute the little booger flipped right back to breech. Left alone in the hospital room afterwards with Jesse, I bawled my face off in devastation. The doctor offered to try again for us in a week and a half and in desperation I agreed. We continued to do all we had been doing to help encourage the baby to turn vertex.
The next week and a half was healing for me on so many levels. Somewhere between the first version and the second my heart and my head came to accept that this baby was probably not going to turn. For reasons unknown to me, this tiny soul inside had decided that this was the best way for him or her to be born, and nothing I was going to do or try was going to change that. After the first version we stayed and talked with Patty for a long time, discussing what options there were. Obviously there was elective cesarean, but I hadn't really realized that the possibility of a vaginal birth still existed. My midwives were willing to help me fight for a vaginal breech birth and I felt so relieved with that knowledge of support. My focus shifted from preparing for a homebirth, to preparing for a breech birth. I surprised myself at my calm, collectedness about it all, considering how totally opposite I had felt just a short time before. I felt completely confident that I could, and would, do this.
39 weeks: Version attempt number two failed. I was not devastated this time like I had been before...I had remained hopeful that it would succeed, but something in the back of my heart told me that it wouldn't. I was okay with that now. I still felt sad about losing my "dream birth", but I felt open and prepared to fight for and succeed at birthing this baby breech. The doctor offered to assess the baby to see how much he or she weighed because, he informed me, there was an upper allowable limit of 3800 grams for a breech vaginal birth. He measured and calculated and came up with 3400 grams, perfect. We decided we would wait for me to go into labour and call around to the hospitals to see if there was an OB on call who would assist a breech birth. Patty asked me if I wanted her to check my cervix, just for interests sake. Curiosity overcame me and I said YES. She checked, and to her and my shock, I was already 3-4cm dilated! Holy crow! It took me many many hours of labour to get to that point with Nova, so I was both surprised and excited to know that my body had already done so much work on its own without my noticing. I had a prenatal photo shoot scheduled with Lynne Alexander for the next afternoon so I said that this baby had to wait til then, but after that I was happy to go into labour!
The next day came and went, my photo session was so fun! After the photos we went to a close friend's house who we eat dinner with at least once a week. I went into labour with Nova there, and it seemed ironic to be going to their place again for dinner when labour seemed so imminent. Around 10pm I started to feel tired and slightly "off"...no contractions or anything, but I felt jittery, I could feel birth hormones starting to surge through my body. I thought to myself "I bet tonight is the night", but didn't say anything to anyone so as not create unnecessary commotion. We headed home and I went to bed shortly after 11pm. I woke up around 1:30am with some discomfort in my lower back...still not contractions, but I could feel my stomach tightening and it was beginning to radiate into my back. I felt wide awake and went to join Jesse in the family room (he had stayed up to play a new video game). Within ten minutes I started contracting mildly, but they were regular and timeable. We busted out the Scrabble board and began to play, but we only got a handful of words onto the board each; half an hour after I had woken up I was having pretty painful contractions that were 50 seconds long and a minute apart. They began to come hard and fast almost out of nowhere and required all of my attention. At 2:30am I paged Jane and told her that things were definetely happening and moving quickly! She told me she would call around to the hospitals and call me back. She said she wasn't going to bother calling the Rockyview, and I agreed with her (the hospital is well known for over managing births and just general staunchness when it comes to procedure and protocol so we figured it probably wasn't even worth trying). It took her 15 minutes to call me back, and in that time the surges became even more powerful and I had started to feel a lot of pressure. Imagine my surprise when I heard Jane's voice say "We're going to Rockyview...Dr Murphy is on til 8am and he's willing to help us. How long will it take you to get there?". I told her 40 minutes; we called my mom to come sit with Nova, phoned my friend and doula Tracey, and flew out of the house. It took us way less than 40 minutes to get there, although the bumpy ride in our '81 Suburban definetely felt much longer than it actually was. We arrived at the hospital at the same time as Jane and were taken by security up the service elevators to the maternity ward (we bumped into two security guards on our way to the doors of the hospital and they took us the fast way up!). My contractions were coming harder and faster and the pressure was blowing me away. It was taking every ounce of my self control to stay on top of them and not push involuntarily. They got an IV started and the Dr came in to check me; 6cm. He had "the discussion" with me...the one I had prepared myself mentally and emotionally for in case they were going to try to scare me out of attempting a breech birth. But instead of it being a struggle, it was surprisingly easy and well received...the doctor was extremely respectful and supportive of our decisions. He did an ultrasound and informed us that not only was the baby breech, but that the foot was presenting first! My heart sank...I thought for sure the next thing out of his mouth would be "We won't do a footling breech". Instead, he looked at my frankly and told me that because my urge to push was so strong and because I was only 6 cm that he really recommended an epidural so I wouldn't involuntarily push and break my bag of waters. He was concerned that if I broke my water before I was fully dilated that the foot would descend prematurely and that could cause issues with cord prolapse. I agreed to the epidural, I figured that this was a “tit for tat” situation…if they were going to do what I wanted them to, I had to cooperate with them on some levels also. The anesthetist came around 4:30am and put my epidural in, by this time I was 8cm dilated. Jesse snuggled up to me for a quick nap, and Tracey, Jane and I chatted while we waited. Dr Murphy came back around 6:30am and checked me again…I was fully dilated with just a small anterior lip. I got up and went to the washroom and took advantage of the squatting time on the toilet to help nudge the rest of that lip away. By 7:20am it was gone and the doctor had me give a small practice push to see how much I could feel through the epidural. As soon as I started pushing the doctor cried “STOP!”; apparently my bag of waters bulged HUGE and he wanted to move me to the OR before the baby was on the perineum. (delivering in the OR was the other concession I had to make, they wanted me there “just in case”). Into the OR and onto the skinny operating table I went. Legs in stirrups, flat on my back. Not the most ideal birthing position in general, and especially not for a breech birth, but I couldn’t feel my legs much at all so I couldn’t squat or stand. The nurse behind me was kind enough to lift me up by my shoulders when I pushed so I had some leverage at least. First push and my water exploded with a massive gush, soaking the doctor and the nurse beside him! Second push and the baby was right on the perineum. I felt very grateful to be able to still feel the baby coming down the birth canal, I was worried that with the epidural I would miss out on that, but I felt it all, just without the pain. The dr asked me if I wanted to know the sex of the baby, but I said no, wait until he or she is born fully (everyone except me at this point was well aware of the gender!). Push three and four and then I felt the baby slide out just as easy as anything. 7:49am, just in time for the doctor to finish his shift at 8am! The baby was plunked onto my chest and I looked for the answer to the question that had been posed a million times when I was pregnant…it’s a GIRL! I was overcome with pride, ecstasy and gratitude. I did it! I really really did it. I thanked the doctor and if I had had more feeling in my legs I probably would have jumped up and kissed him and everyone else in the room. Everyone commented on how big she was and the doctor told us that she was the largest breech he had assisted in a long time. Once we got back to the labour room she was weighed…3805 grams/8lbs 6oz!!! Much larger than the 3400 that had been estimated only a day and a half before. My midwife told me later that she felt that the doctor probably underestimated on purpose, and if that is the case then I am grateful to him for it.
All in all, it was a beautiful, amazing experience. Not the one I had planned for or even dreamt about, but one that was tailored to my growth, my needs and what was best for us all. After Faeryn was born we discovered why she had stayed breech; her cord was slung over her shoulder like a purse strap and because of this it was too short for her to turn vertex. I am humbled by the universe’s ability to teach me about myself and my work in such profound and mysterious ways. It makes me believe even more strongly that we don’t always get what we want in life, but we are always provided with just what we need.