Tuesday, December 20, 2011

It's been almost a year.  The closer it gets, the more thoughts cross my mind, the more I miss so much.  It's a strange and fucked up place to be... being in love with someone and generally, truly happy... and yet yearning.  Wondering.  Wishing.  Hoping.  Thinking, always thinking.  Not a day goes by without thoughts entering my brains and making me wonder how it's been this long already. 
I miss tea and sunshine couch visits.  Listening to music and flopping around on the floor laughing like drunk monkeys.  Cooking together, wandering the streets aimlessly together. 

It's a new moon tomorrow and that usually makes me a lot more reflective... often a lot more broody. 
Mostly, I just miss you. 

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Great new music

Lovelovelove this song.

Friday, July 22, 2011

6 months feels like a millions years and also yesterday.  It's amazing how much has changed in that amount of time.

Thursday, July 07, 2011

A walk by the river...

... it couldn't have been more awesome.

Monday, July 04, 2011

just a song



I love the line "sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead".  Also
"You'd know how the time flies.
Only yesterday was the time of our lives.
We were born and raised in a summery haze.
Bound by the surprise of our glory days.

The world keeps spinning and I'm glad.  I hope you never forget because I sure won't.  Everything about this song means everything that I wish I could say.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Gateways

Today I went for a run around my neighbourhood for over an hour.  It was fabulous and I plan to do it often.  It has been raining here for just about a month straight, and while that makes for some soggy (and mosquito-y) times, it also makes for a lush, green city that we normally are not accustomed to.  Generally it is dry and half-brown here, so to have everything so fully green, so fully in bloom... well, it's incredible.
I moved into the house I'm in last September, so I haven't gotten to experience this house or this neighbourhood in the spring/summer yet... so far I am loving it.  There is a LOT of grass to mow (and a LOT of sidewalk to shovel in the winter), but I also appreciate the vast amount of green and trees that surrounds me.  A few people have told me that the street I live on reminds them of Vancouver and I have to agree... something about it really does have a Vancouver-ish feel to it.
Anyways, my run today opened my eyes to the immense beauty that abounds in my neighbourhood.  I haven't explored the neighbourhood much until now, so I made a point of going down streets I've never been down.  I wasn't disappointed.  I can't wait to go on long, lazy, summer walks with my kids, and runs and skating adventures on my own in the quiet, delicious solitude of my own head.  Just me and my feet and the sky and some music.

Skating is going okay... I am still not great at it but I am determined to continue to practice with the hopes that I'll eventually improve.  I'm working on fitness and building up my stamina/endurance, and I think that will help a lot.

The rest of me... well the rest of me is okay too.  I'm working on a lot of things, trying to make some headway with my head and my heart and where I'm at within all of it.  I'm working hard at trying to work through a lot of the shit I've been holding onto for a very long time and I'm trying to be more upfront with where I'm *really* at instead of just putting on a brave face and slogging through.  I had a tarot reading two weeks ago that was interesting for me... the gist of it was that I am surrounded by gateways, on the verge of changing and doing a lot of things.  I definitely agree with that... I feel like with every passing day I inch closer to where I am wanting to be, in my body and in my mind and heart.  It's a slow, slow process, and I realize more and more how afraid of myself I really am, but I'm trying.  That's all one can really do, I guess.  It's a long and winding road, but I'll get there.