...I am currently more pregnant than I have ever been in my entire life lol Nova was born at 39 weeks 4 days, and Faeryn was born at 39 weeks 2 days. As of 50 minutes ago, it is July 3, which means I am now 40 weeks pregnant!
Part of me is a teeny bit surprised I have not given birth yet because of my past history, HOWEVER, a bigger part of me feels deep down that I am holding on to this pregnancy a little longer because I know that this is my last time doing this. Oh, the powers of the psyche, the body, and labour.
It awes me still how each pregnancy and birth can teach you so much. Nova's birth taught me just how empowering a birth experience can be and how strong I really am. Faeryn's taught me surrender. This baby is teaching me patience...and helping me to gently say goodbye to this phase of my life. With the birth of this baby's placenta, my pregnant and birthing days are over for me. Such a sad sad thing for me. And also, in a lot of ways, exciting and scary. Exciting because of what lies ahead for me, my growth as a woman and mama, my life. A new chapter...moving on from personally birthing to guiding and helping women on their own journeys as a student midwife, and eventually a midwife myself. Scary because it's CHANGE and I don't do well with change. Change is scary and unknown and not predictable.
Change is the theme for this year for me, I think. Starting midwifery school and saying goodbye to doulaing (possibly forever, depending on what happens in the next year or so). Becoming a family of 5 and a mother to 3 under the age of 4. Renovating our home of 5 years and transforming it in many ways, with paint and flooring and knocking out the fireplace (among other things). A lot of big stuff seems to be happening this year. Not sure if it's the fact that I'm turning 25 this year, or something to do with the year 2007 in general or what. Who knows. But the theme is definetely change in a big way. Maybe not change so much as expansion...growth...redefinition...
I had something else to talk about, but my brain just farted and now it's gone. Dammit. Well, so much for that post lol
2 comments:
wow...40 weeks! congratulations?! 2007 truly does seem like a year of great change....3 kids under 4...WOW. incredible! kisses and hugs to you my love...
Pregnancy is the ultimate surrender! The patience you are learning now will serve you as a mama and as a midwife so enjoy!
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