candida and other adventures

Almost 4 weeks ago I began the candida cleanse once again... a bit of déjà vu as this was not my first time doing this cleanse.  I embarked on this journey once before years ago when my middle child was an infant.  This time the motivation was two-fold: symptoms and to acquire better habits.  It's crazy restrictive, this cleanse, and it forces you to look at food in a very different way.  No sugar, no fruit, no dairy, no grains, no vinegar, nothing fermented, nothing starchy.  Basically if it's delicious, you shouldn't eat it lol A whole lot of protein, water and vegetables, especially greens.  And a not-too-unpleasant drink each morning concocted of water, psyllium husk, bentonite clay and coconut oil with calendula extract. 


In 25 days I have lost 16lbs and gained so much more than I ever expected.  I didn't realize that it would help me see myself and my life with new eyes again, nor that it would remind me why I chose to continue eating this way for years to come after I did it the first time.  I didn't realize that it would show me to look at food again in a whole new light, and help break me of my bad habits of eating out of boredom and sadness.  I didn't expect it to feel this amazing, or re-teach me about food as nourishment in the most down-to-earth and meaningful sense.  It has reawakened my passion for whole foods and re-inspired me to let myself reconnect with my passionate, creative side that I think even I didn't realize was so far gone until now.  


I'm fairly certain I'm have not become one of those food-assholes that I roll my eyes at.  You know the ones; people whose lives have been so changed by a food revolution that it's all they can talk about and the answer to every ailment.  I promise I will not become "That Food-Nazi Evangelist"... I am not a fan of those people and don't ever think that any one way of eating/being is for every person.


I do know, however, that it has changed the way I look at my life in lots of ways.  Today especially I am feeling overflowingly grateful for all the beauty that I have in my life at the moment, even though it's also messy, chaotic, overwhelming and time consuming.  


I didn't realize just how much of a release this would all be.  And I didn't realize how much I really needed to let go of some things.  


I suppose that's the whole point of a cleanse, though, isn't it?  Either way, I'll take it.  
The light shows up in the strangest places.