Today was absolutely lovely. It was mild out and it was SO nice to get outside and breathe in the fresh air and sunshine. Weather like this makes me yearn for spring and summertime. We will surely get more snow before it is officially spring (and there's always the possibility of having snow even after it is "officially" spring) but it sure was nice to play "faux spring" for a while this afternoon.
I am feeling really really good today. I don't know if it's from being outside all day, or from me not eating garbage, or because I have been taking my supplements and drinking more water, or something else (probably a combination of everything), but I feel really positive and calm and happy today.
What I ate today:
Breakfast - applesauce and a half-eaten apple a la Faeryn
Mid-morning snack - uhhhh...shit I forget. I ate something though!
Lunch - leftover curried veggies and brown rice
Afternoon snack - apple, veggies and hummous
Dinner - romaine hearts with caesar dressing and rice chips, homemade brown rice pudding (sweetened with a little maple syrup and some raisins)
Every day this no-sugar thing gets easier. Today I didn't crave anything, actually, which is nice. It's just more uphill from here...once I hit that 7 day mark it will be even more easy to deal with and the longer I stay away, the less I am inclined to eat junk at all. Such a simple simple concept, but following through is hard sometimes. I am feeling proud of myself today, and that may seem pathetic to some people, but I don't care. Small victories and all that, you know?
Alfie Kohn last night was great. I have read his book "Unconditional Parenting" and seen the DVD, but it was refreshing to be there watching him in person. It was also a very timely lecture for me...my girls have been awfully challenging lately and this week has been particularily hard. Lots of sibling warfare going on and I tend to get sucked into the emotional aspect and react emotionally instead of staying slightly detached and being a calm, rational thinker. It was good for me to sit and listen to Alfie reaffirm for me *why* I don't want to scream, yell, do time-outs and generally disrespect my children by banishing them "because I said so". It's good to step outside of my own head for a while and listen to someone else reiterate all the things I *know* but might not be using, you know what I mean?
One week from today marks me and Jesse's SEVENTH anniversary. 7 years. Holy crapola. In some ways I can't believe it's been that long, and in others I definetely feel it. Hehe. It's weird to think that we've been together for so long, but even weirder to think that we have so many more years ahead of us. Long term relationships are a trip.
It's 9:30pm...I really should clean up my kitchen and living room. Both rooms look like they vomited all over themselves. G'night!
Friday, February 29, 2008
I was lame and fell asleep on the couch last night after I went to see Alfie Kohn speak, so I didn't get around to posting. I only have a second, but I want to post what I ate yesterday before I forget lol
Breakfast - two bowls of millet rice oatbran with almond milk
Mid-morning snack - my beautiful friend Michelle made me a snack of manna bread with coconut butter, havarti cheese slices and blackberries. You're too sweet, M :)
Lunch - veggies with hummous
Afternoon snack (see?! I'm trying to make an effort to eat more!) - Hippie Bar, half eaten apple of Faeryn's
Dinner - Coconut curried veggies (kale, carrots, potatoes, onions, cauliflower, garlic) served over brown rice
I was starving when I got home from Alfie Kohn so I chopped up a romaine lettuce heart and ate that with a bit of caesar dressing and some rice chips sprinkled in.
Alfie Kohn was awesome and I have lots to say but we are off to Prince's Island Park/Eau Claire this afternoon to play in the lovely mild (and muddy!) weather. My kids are going to get so dirty...we had a big dump of snow yesterday that promptly melted into slushy goodness.
Breakfast - two bowls of millet rice oatbran with almond milk
Mid-morning snack - my beautiful friend Michelle made me a snack of manna bread with coconut butter, havarti cheese slices and blackberries. You're too sweet, M :)
Lunch - veggies with hummous
Afternoon snack (see?! I'm trying to make an effort to eat more!) - Hippie Bar, half eaten apple of Faeryn's
Dinner - Coconut curried veggies (kale, carrots, potatoes, onions, cauliflower, garlic) served over brown rice
I was starving when I got home from Alfie Kohn so I chopped up a romaine lettuce heart and ate that with a bit of caesar dressing and some rice chips sprinkled in.
Alfie Kohn was awesome and I have lots to say but we are off to Prince's Island Park/Eau Claire this afternoon to play in the lovely mild (and muddy!) weather. My kids are going to get so dirty...we had a big dump of snow yesterday that promptly melted into slushy goodness.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
It was a good day today. No headaches, so hooray for that. We went over to a good friend's house today and spent the day playing, which also included a walk through the 12 Mile Coulee natural park and a play at a playground! I drank lots of water today too. I forget how good I feel when I drink lots of water. Such simple things make such a huge difference.
What I ate:
breakfast - Millet Rice Oatbran with almond milk and sliced banana
mid-morning snack - Clif Peanut Toffee Buzz protien bar
lunch - hummous and veggies, a handful of rice chips
dinner - banana almond oatmeal with flax and sunflower seeds (apparently I'm having a banana-almond kinda day lol)
snack - a few slices of cheese, a couple slices of pickled beets (mmmmm)
I am fully aware that the protien bar today and the Skookum seed bar yesterday do have some sugar in them (brown rice syrup and evaporated cane juice), but it's a hell of a lot better than chocolate bars and ice cream. I am a big believer that natural sugars like brown rice syrup and other unrefined sugars are metabolized and utilized a lot more efficiently than refined white sugars. I should see if I can't make some sort of protien-y, seed bar for myself. I know I can, it just means finding a recipe and tweaking it...you know, in my spare time and all ;)
I really need to get cracking back at the books...I seem to have taken a hiatus the last few weeks with the exception of finishing a section in medical terminology. This May I will have been enrolled at MCU for 1 year and I should really have more to show for it than just Biology! Lucky for me, a good friend's Major Map is almost the same as mine and we're kind of working together on things. It sure makes this distance thing a lot easier, knowing that i'm not all alone or sooo behind everyone else I know doing the same program.
Last week we had an interview at the school that Nova may be going to next year. We had originally intended to unschool, but Nova feels very strongly about going to school and having that experience (and has told me as much in similar terms) so we decided to apply to the Calgary Waldorf School. I love the classroom and the philosophy and they seemed to love us. Now we just have to wait to hear. I have no idea what I will do if we don't get accepted, but I guess I'll deal with that when the time comes.
All three of my kids have gotten up now...I guess that's my cue to go to bed.
What I ate:
breakfast - Millet Rice Oatbran with almond milk and sliced banana
mid-morning snack - Clif Peanut Toffee Buzz protien bar
lunch - hummous and veggies, a handful of rice chips
dinner - banana almond oatmeal with flax and sunflower seeds (apparently I'm having a banana-almond kinda day lol)
snack - a few slices of cheese, a couple slices of pickled beets (mmmmm)
I am fully aware that the protien bar today and the Skookum seed bar yesterday do have some sugar in them (brown rice syrup and evaporated cane juice), but it's a hell of a lot better than chocolate bars and ice cream. I am a big believer that natural sugars like brown rice syrup and other unrefined sugars are metabolized and utilized a lot more efficiently than refined white sugars. I should see if I can't make some sort of protien-y, seed bar for myself. I know I can, it just means finding a recipe and tweaking it...you know, in my spare time and all ;)
I really need to get cracking back at the books...I seem to have taken a hiatus the last few weeks with the exception of finishing a section in medical terminology. This May I will have been enrolled at MCU for 1 year and I should really have more to show for it than just Biology! Lucky for me, a good friend's Major Map is almost the same as mine and we're kind of working together on things. It sure makes this distance thing a lot easier, knowing that i'm not all alone or sooo behind everyone else I know doing the same program.
Last week we had an interview at the school that Nova may be going to next year. We had originally intended to unschool, but Nova feels very strongly about going to school and having that experience (and has told me as much in similar terms) so we decided to apply to the Calgary Waldorf School. I love the classroom and the philosophy and they seemed to love us. Now we just have to wait to hear. I have no idea what I will do if we don't get accepted, but I guess I'll deal with that when the time comes.
All three of my kids have gotten up now...I guess that's my cue to go to bed.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Linky dinky doo
Today went well for me. I managed to stay away from garbage sugars, take my supps, drink water and go outside with my kids! Woowoo for me :)
What I ate today:
No breakfast (I really intended on it but we got busy and I forgot!)
Mid-morning snack - a Skookum Bar
Lunch - almond butter and banana sandwich on spelt bread
Dinner - leftover Chicken Cacciatore and brown rice
Looking at this list, I realize that this is probably not enough food for a woman who is nursing two children full time. Hm. I'll have to work on that part, I guess. Good old me...from one extreme to the other. *sigh* I am starving at the moment so I think I may grab a handful of rice chips and eat a bit of the stellar onion dip that I made a couple days ago for a blessingway I held.
I have a killer headache tonight, but that is to be expected from the lack of sugar. Damn addictions. No amount of water, lavender or peppermint is getting rid of it either.
I went down to a friend's store today to buy a couple wet bags for my diaper bag. Up until now I have always just used old plastic grocery bags, but I am trying to cut plastic grocery bags out of my life completely and this was the last step. I also got a really cute pair of Baby Legs for Indigo. A friend had gotten me an orange pair despite my insistence that $18 is too much for leggings for a baby, but I have to admit that I love them. They're great for kickin' around the house in a diaper when you need something on their legs but don't want to screw around with taking pants on and off for diaper changes. I've recently started EC with Indigo so the Baby Legs come in extra handy with him having a nakey butt a lot of the time!
Why the hell am I doing EC, you ask? Well, 5 years ago I bought 24 Mother-ease fitted diapers and tie dyed them. I have had others in my stash over the years, but the ME dipes stayed as my tried and true workhorse dipes. They are now on their last legs, having been used for 5 years straight and by three kids. They are literally see-through in spots and I don't wanna buy more diapers! Ok, correction...I would love to buy more diapers but cannot justify the money. Indigo is my last baby (*sob!*) and I just can't see spending more money on diapers (or switching to disposables) once these diapers start tearing. So, to reduce the wear and tear on the diapers and hopefully prolong their life until Indigo learns to use the potty full time, we shall EC! I've been doing it for about 3 weeks now and it's actually not hard at all. I am getting pretty good at catching pees and poops...the key is paying attention ;)
That's it for tonight...I am hungry and if I'm going to eat something it has to be now before any children wake up and need snuggling! I think this is the linkyest post I've ever posted...yay me! lol
What I ate today:
No breakfast (I really intended on it but we got busy and I forgot!)
Mid-morning snack - a Skookum Bar
Lunch - almond butter and banana sandwich on spelt bread
Dinner - leftover Chicken Cacciatore and brown rice
Looking at this list, I realize that this is probably not enough food for a woman who is nursing two children full time. Hm. I'll have to work on that part, I guess. Good old me...from one extreme to the other. *sigh* I am starving at the moment so I think I may grab a handful of rice chips and eat a bit of the stellar onion dip that I made a couple days ago for a blessingway I held.
I have a killer headache tonight, but that is to be expected from the lack of sugar. Damn addictions. No amount of water, lavender or peppermint is getting rid of it either.
I went down to a friend's store today to buy a couple wet bags for my diaper bag. Up until now I have always just used old plastic grocery bags, but I am trying to cut plastic grocery bags out of my life completely and this was the last step. I also got a really cute pair of Baby Legs for Indigo. A friend had gotten me an orange pair despite my insistence that $18 is too much for leggings for a baby, but I have to admit that I love them. They're great for kickin' around the house in a diaper when you need something on their legs but don't want to screw around with taking pants on and off for diaper changes. I've recently started EC with Indigo so the Baby Legs come in extra handy with him having a nakey butt a lot of the time!
Why the hell am I doing EC, you ask? Well, 5 years ago I bought 24 Mother-ease fitted diapers and tie dyed them. I have had others in my stash over the years, but the ME dipes stayed as my tried and true workhorse dipes. They are now on their last legs, having been used for 5 years straight and by three kids. They are literally see-through in spots and I don't wanna buy more diapers! Ok, correction...I would love to buy more diapers but cannot justify the money. Indigo is my last baby (*sob!*) and I just can't see spending more money on diapers (or switching to disposables) once these diapers start tearing. So, to reduce the wear and tear on the diapers and hopefully prolong their life until Indigo learns to use the potty full time, we shall EC! I've been doing it for about 3 weeks now and it's actually not hard at all. I am getting pretty good at catching pees and poops...the key is paying attention ;)
That's it for tonight...I am hungry and if I'm going to eat something it has to be now before any children wake up and need snuggling! I think this is the linkyest post I've ever posted...yay me! lol
Monday, February 25, 2008
Turning over a new leaf
So if you read my blog, you know that I have an extreme love-hate relationship with my body and sugar. I am determined to change this, as things have deteriorated to a really really low level and there have been days recently where all I have eaten was packaged sugar garbage. Which, in turn, makes me feel like a disgusting sack of shit and so ashamed. I am not 300lbs yet, but if I keep going at this rate, I sure will be.
I've decided that, once and for all, I need to get ahold of this binge eating of mine before it tailspins out of control. I feel like I'm on the brink and I can either choose to turn around and go back and get healthy and start on a path of loving myself, or just continue on the self-destructive path that I've carved and make myself sick and fat and hate myself even more. I don't want to hide my eating anymore...not from my children and not from my partner. It feels so bad to do it and I hate that sneaky yucky feeling.
I know me, and I know that I am not one of these people who can be satisfied with just one piece of really good quality chocolate every day. I wish I was...I think it would make this whole process a heck of a lot easier for me. No, I am an all or nothing kinda gal. I can't eat just one piece...it has to be the entire bar. Or two or three. It shames me SO much to be posting this, especially knowing that people in my "real life" read this blog and will look at me and know this about me. But, I think it will be good for keeping myself accountable as well. I have to convince myself that the people who read and love me, will still read and still love me even after reading this.
All this started after reading a quote on another blog that went something to the effect of:
"Be the kind of woman you want your daughters to become"
Something clicked there for me. I don't want me daughters (or my son, for that matter) to loathe themselves the way I loathe myself. I want them to look at themselves and feel love and adoration...not disgust and disapppointment. I am tired of looking at myself every day, and instead of seeing a beautiful womanly body that has grown and nourished three perfect little human beings...I see nothing but all the things I hate about myself. My flabby soft belly, my fat thighs, the wiggly jiggly arms, my dimply butt. I need to fall in love with me...not the me I want to be, but the me that I am NOW. It's okay to want to improve on things, but I need to love the me I am now because that's who I am at this very moment in time. And I will probably never be a perfectly cut, gorgeously curvy size 5 woman...but I don't want to be either. I just want to break this cycle of self-hatred and embrace my body for what it is. I am a totally awesome woman on the inside and I need to feel that outside for myself as well.
Tomorrow is a new day, and with it brings a brand new perspective and a fresh start. Tomorrow is the start of a serious 6 week elimination diet of sugar and any other processed things that may have made their way into my body. Tomorrow I start feeding myself again the way I feed my children and the way I know I feel better eating. The goals will be small but attainable.
~Drink lots of water.
~Take my supplements.
~No sugar. Ignore that stupid voice at the back of your head that says you need it and makes you feel like you really do...you don't. You can say no and absolutely nothing bad will happen. The first week is the hardest, but after that it really does get SO much easier. Remind yourself EVERY DAY of this.
~Go outside everyday with my kids for at least 30 minutes. I have sort of hermited myself lately and it's bringin me down.
That's it for now. I am going to start a food diary that I will try my hardest to update everyday so it keeps me accountable. I'd love it if you all would keep me accountable too...check in with me, ask me point blank how it's going...make me be honest with you and myself.
Thanks for reading. <3
I've decided that, once and for all, I need to get ahold of this binge eating of mine before it tailspins out of control. I feel like I'm on the brink and I can either choose to turn around and go back and get healthy and start on a path of loving myself, or just continue on the self-destructive path that I've carved and make myself sick and fat and hate myself even more. I don't want to hide my eating anymore...not from my children and not from my partner. It feels so bad to do it and I hate that sneaky yucky feeling.
I know me, and I know that I am not one of these people who can be satisfied with just one piece of really good quality chocolate every day. I wish I was...I think it would make this whole process a heck of a lot easier for me. No, I am an all or nothing kinda gal. I can't eat just one piece...it has to be the entire bar. Or two or three. It shames me SO much to be posting this, especially knowing that people in my "real life" read this blog and will look at me and know this about me. But, I think it will be good for keeping myself accountable as well. I have to convince myself that the people who read and love me, will still read and still love me even after reading this.
All this started after reading a quote on another blog that went something to the effect of:
"Be the kind of woman you want your daughters to become"
Something clicked there for me. I don't want me daughters (or my son, for that matter) to loathe themselves the way I loathe myself. I want them to look at themselves and feel love and adoration...not disgust and disapppointment. I am tired of looking at myself every day, and instead of seeing a beautiful womanly body that has grown and nourished three perfect little human beings...I see nothing but all the things I hate about myself. My flabby soft belly, my fat thighs, the wiggly jiggly arms, my dimply butt. I need to fall in love with me...not the me I want to be, but the me that I am NOW. It's okay to want to improve on things, but I need to love the me I am now because that's who I am at this very moment in time. And I will probably never be a perfectly cut, gorgeously curvy size 5 woman...but I don't want to be either. I just want to break this cycle of self-hatred and embrace my body for what it is. I am a totally awesome woman on the inside and I need to feel that outside for myself as well.
Tomorrow is a new day, and with it brings a brand new perspective and a fresh start. Tomorrow is the start of a serious 6 week elimination diet of sugar and any other processed things that may have made their way into my body. Tomorrow I start feeding myself again the way I feed my children and the way I know I feel better eating. The goals will be small but attainable.
~Drink lots of water.
~Take my supplements.
~No sugar. Ignore that stupid voice at the back of your head that says you need it and makes you feel like you really do...you don't. You can say no and absolutely nothing bad will happen. The first week is the hardest, but after that it really does get SO much easier. Remind yourself EVERY DAY of this.
~Go outside everyday with my kids for at least 30 minutes. I have sort of hermited myself lately and it's bringin me down.
That's it for now. I am going to start a food diary that I will try my hardest to update everyday so it keeps me accountable. I'd love it if you all would keep me accountable too...check in with me, ask me point blank how it's going...make me be honest with you and myself.
Thanks for reading. <3
Yes, I know...I suck at blogging...
What can I say...I really suck at this blogging business. I get on a roll for a while, but I always end up leaving it at the end of my "To Do" list. I think about blogging an awful lot, but actually sitting down and writing is a whole other story. So sorry to all you readers out there in BlogLand...I'm sure this is probably why I have very little traffic on my lil old blog!
Life is chaotic and beautiful all at once around here. My kids are growing like weeds...in a few short months I will have 5 and 3 year old daughters! Indigo is now 7.5 months old and is pulling up on EVERYTHING. His favourite thing to do is to stand behind me while I am standing at the counter making dinner and pull himself up on my pants. Only problem is that usually my pants fall down in the process of him standing up! He's got two teeth and has just started solids (he had a very brief stint about a month and a half ago but he decided quickly that it wasn't as good as he thought it looked lol). He had spinach tonight for the first time and LOVED it. Hooray for babies who love green food :)
Midwifery school is going well...slowly as per usual but well! I got my final mark for that damn Biology course a couple weeks ago and I got an A-!! I am very very proud of that considering the hell of a time I had with that course. I got 100% on my final exam!! Woowoo for me!! I'm working on three courses at the moment; Medical tTerminology, History of Midwifery and Midwife's Assistant. All three need to be completed by May so I need to get my ass in gear and keep working through the coursework. I have changed my Major Map (timeline of my courses) twice already because I have fallen behind and I am determined to not get any further behind! I want to stick closely to my Major Map so I can just get this done already.
In shocking news...we bought a van. OMG you say. You?! You bought a van?? Yes, unfortunately we did. And I hate to say it, but I love it. I always said I would *never* own a van, no matter how big a family I had, but alas...convenience and practicality overrules ego. We would be fine with my little Saturn were it not for CAMPING. Camping is impossible with such a small car and so many people crammed into it. So, I joined the Minivan Mafia. We bought a 2008 Nissan Quest and it really is pretty funky. It drives like a car, which I really like, and it sure is shiny and purdy! And the space...holy crap. It definetely took some getting used to...it was really weird having all my kids so spread out in the van when I was so used to having them sardined together in the back of my Saturn.
So...anyone wanna buy a great Saturn? ;) I am sad to see my first brand-new car go, but we definetely do not need three vehicles. Jesse has his work truck, I have the van. We had the Kidney Foundation come and pick up the shitbeater Suburban beast of a truck (finally!!! wooowoooooooo!!!!)(Jesse was sad to see that piece of shit go, but I don't miss it one little bit! Can you tell? haha)
In other news...well I guess I don't have any other news right now. None that I can think of at least. Wow, ain't I just the most interesting gal you know?
Life is chaotic and beautiful all at once around here. My kids are growing like weeds...in a few short months I will have 5 and 3 year old daughters! Indigo is now 7.5 months old and is pulling up on EVERYTHING. His favourite thing to do is to stand behind me while I am standing at the counter making dinner and pull himself up on my pants. Only problem is that usually my pants fall down in the process of him standing up! He's got two teeth and has just started solids (he had a very brief stint about a month and a half ago but he decided quickly that it wasn't as good as he thought it looked lol). He had spinach tonight for the first time and LOVED it. Hooray for babies who love green food :)
Midwifery school is going well...slowly as per usual but well! I got my final mark for that damn Biology course a couple weeks ago and I got an A-!! I am very very proud of that considering the hell of a time I had with that course. I got 100% on my final exam!! Woowoo for me!! I'm working on three courses at the moment; Medical tTerminology, History of Midwifery and Midwife's Assistant. All three need to be completed by May so I need to get my ass in gear and keep working through the coursework. I have changed my Major Map (timeline of my courses) twice already because I have fallen behind and I am determined to not get any further behind! I want to stick closely to my Major Map so I can just get this done already.
In shocking news...we bought a van. OMG you say. You?! You bought a van?? Yes, unfortunately we did. And I hate to say it, but I love it. I always said I would *never* own a van, no matter how big a family I had, but alas...convenience and practicality overrules ego. We would be fine with my little Saturn were it not for CAMPING. Camping is impossible with such a small car and so many people crammed into it. So, I joined the Minivan Mafia. We bought a 2008 Nissan Quest and it really is pretty funky. It drives like a car, which I really like, and it sure is shiny and purdy! And the space...holy crap. It definetely took some getting used to...it was really weird having all my kids so spread out in the van when I was so used to having them sardined together in the back of my Saturn.
So...anyone wanna buy a great Saturn? ;) I am sad to see my first brand-new car go, but we definetely do not need three vehicles. Jesse has his work truck, I have the van. We had the Kidney Foundation come and pick up the shitbeater Suburban beast of a truck (finally!!! wooowoooooooo!!!!)(Jesse was sad to see that piece of shit go, but I don't miss it one little bit! Can you tell? haha)
In other news...well I guess I don't have any other news right now. None that I can think of at least. Wow, ain't I just the most interesting gal you know?
Friday, February 01, 2008
Earth Hour 2008
http://www.earthhour.org/
Sign up to become a part of a global movement to conserve energy and make the world a better place :) Over 18 000 people have signed up to date.
You turn off your power for one hour on March 29, 2008 at 8pm and create some change!
Sign up to become a part of a global movement to conserve energy and make the world a better place :) Over 18 000 people have signed up to date.
You turn off your power for one hour on March 29, 2008 at 8pm and create some change!
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