A belated Happy Holidays

I hope everyone had a beautiful, joy filled holiday season!
Ours was lovely, albeit a bit unconventional given the new family arrangement around these parts. The kids got spoiled with a ton of really great toys (mostly all wooden treasures!) and I got a few nice gifts as well. It has been a hard and emotional couple of months for me and the Solstice/Christmas season was especially bittersweet.

I am looking forward to the new year and a clean slate. 2008 has ended with a lot of emotion and while I know that 2009 will be just as tough in a lot of ways, I think it will also be a year of growth and self-realization for me. It will be my first full year as a single-parent, as Jesse has decided he is not going to move back to the house and does not want to pursue trying to heal our relationship anymore. It is sad, sad news for me, but I cannot do much more about it other than to respect his wishes and move forward. Nothing is really going to change for our children, as his plan is to still take them and spend time with them on weekends.

I am persevering with my schooling and apprenticeship despite my circumstances. It will be difficult as on-call work is unpredictable, but I am confident that I will be able to find a way to make it work. I am still attending clinic on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and it has been a great motivator for me, and I have learned a lot so far. One of the midwives says that she is considering letting me do her pap! ACK! I haven't done a pap yet, only watched, so that is scary scary for me! But who better to practice on than a midwife lol I will be hopefully attending births soon (all the December clients had their babies during the week and I am only able to attend births on weekends for now) as there are several women due in the coming month. I am so blessed to have women and their families welcoming me into their childbearing experiences...I can't even express how lucky I feel.

I'm not sure what the future holds for me but I do know that whatever happens, I am strong enough to get through this challenging time in my life. My children are loved, healthy and happy and I know that we will be okay.